Stories of an ADD Adult

I’ve been off the Ritalin for two months now. I get distracted like crazy and often just can’t get myself to work.

I have been unbelievably creative, though. I have been painting and making things during every free moment. I never realized that I had such a strong creative spark. I wonder if I am more creative now than I was before I had taken any meds.

I keep starting new projects and leaving everything unfinished, but I feel more comfortable with it now.

Is brand-name medication the same as the generic “equivalent”? Based on my experiences, there is a huge difference. Many doctors, pharmacists, employers, and insurance plans are skeptical without good reason, in the same way that some people don’t believe that PMS really exists.

I am currently taking brand-name Ritalin. My doctor switched me to it several months ago, after being on generic methylphenidate HCl (methylin) for a long time.

In my experience, the generic version was much stronger and harsher than the brand-name one. I am 100% sure that I would be able to tell the difference if I were blindfolded.

Generic methylphenidate HCL was great at helping me concentrate. But it made me jittery, as if I had taken a few shots of espresso. As soon as I would take the medicine, the effect was immediate and strong.

The comedown was also very noticeable. I could tell very clearly when the methylin was wearing down. I would suddenly feel extremely spacey. My mind would be extremely foggy, beyond how it normally is if I’m not on any medication.

I switched to brand-name Ritalin because I was starting to get scared that the methylphedidate HCl was making my concentration worse. My psychiatrist didn’t know much about the differences between the brand name and the generic versions, but, lucky for me, my psychologist had read a lot about it. He told me that my concentration probably wasn’t becoming worse, but that if I was worried about the starting and ending effects being too strong, that brand name Ritalin might be better for me.

He told my psychiatrist about it, and I made the change immediately. I noticed right away that my psychologist was absolutely right. The brand-name Ritalin had a much milder, sloping starting effect, and a gentler comedown. I also felt less jittery and edgy.

I’m just an ADD sufferer/mental patient, so please don’t take this as official medical advice. Remember that I’m not a doctor, and that if you want to switch you should talk to your own doctor.

You might want to do some research online or at the library before asking your doctor, just in case he or she is skeptical. I’ll try to find some articles about this and post links here, when I get a chance.

I am tired of reading news stories about college kids staying up all night on ADHD drugs. I am sick of hearing about it on TV as well.

There is so much attention given to the abuse of stimulant medication. The media just loves these types of stories. They love scandals, and they love being the heroes who expose the wrongs of our society.

Unfortunately, most people listen to these types of news stories without really understanding the full issue. People think of medications such as Ritalin and Adderall as overprescribed drugs that are abused by college students, rather than as real medications that actually do help so many college students pay attention in lectures and maintain good enough grades to graduate.

I was talking to a friend of my mother’s who happens to be a pediatrician. She regularly prescribes ADHD medications to her young patients. She was saying that it’s sad how so many parents insist that their kids be given a prescription immediately, rather than trying to examine and change other factors first.

I agreed that too many parents try and take the easy way out of solving their children’s problems with medicine. But I also told her that I was a patient myself, and that I was taking Ritalin. I told her that it had helped me tremendously.

She said that if it’s what helps, that it’s good to take the medication. She clarified her words right away, saying that there were children who justifiably needed meds to treat their ADHD, but that there were too many other kids who needed more personal attention from teachers and parents first before resorting to prescriptions.

Yesterday I had to drive to an appointment. My mind was feeling cloudy, and I knew I would have trouble watching the road, so I took one of my Ritalin tablets. I’ve been trying to avoid taking Ritalin, but in this case I knew the risk of having an accident was too strong.

I swallowed the little tablet before leaving home. Then I drove off. I noticed that while my concentration was improved in a much smoother way than it had been the previous day, when I had drank a cup of coffee containing a high dose of caffeine.

Since I haven’t been taking much of my Ritalin lately, I figured that only one tablet would be enough. And I was right today. It boosted my concentration just enough to help without overpowering my own abilities. It was sort of like having training wheels.

I felt pretty confident while driving and did not come anywhere near having an accident. Which is the opposite of what happens when I don’t take Ritalin or anything else before driving! Usually I have a few “close calls” and almost end up hitting someone, only to be saved by my very quick reflexes.

Today I drank a small cup of strong cappucino at an Italian coffee shop. It must have had much more caffeine than an ordinary cup.

I had to drive home after going to the coffee shop, which was far away. I was worried about driving because I hadn’t taken my Ritalin, but it turned out not to be a big problem.

I concentrated pretty well while driving home. I felt a little weird because the coffee was so strong, but I could definitely concentrate. It was sort of like being on Ritalin, but it felt stronger and rougher.

It’s odd how caffeine can be stronger than Ritalin sometimes, yet Ritalin requires a prescription and coffee can be bought anywhere, even in places other than pharmacies.

I am starting to see ads all over the web about buying Ritalin online. Sometimes I even see those ads here!

It really confuses me. I didn’t think you could buy Ritalin without a prescription. Is it not highly controlled and regulated?

I do wish that Ritalin was a normal, over-the-counter medication. I wish it was potent enough to help people with ADD and ADHD, but not so potent that kids could consume it in large quantities to get high. Having it available over the counter without a prescription would probably reduce the stigma of using it.

After all, cough syrup can be bought without a prescription, and it is abusable, but buying it at the pharmacy does not raise any eyebrows.

I have really been struggling with my vitamin + fish oil plan, because I keep forgetting to take my pills.

With stimulants it was much easier to remember to take them. Honestly it was because of the instant gratification. I knew that if I took my Ritalin, I would experience a noticeable improvement in my concetration within the next hour.

With vitamins and fish oil, it seems like you have to take them for a longer-term period in order to experience the improvement in concentration. Don’t take my word completely, because I’ve never been able to take the supplements long enough to experience the long-term benefits.

It’s the vicious ADD cycle. If I forget to take my meds, I can’t concentrate. If I’m distracted by lots of things, I will inevitably forget to take my meds. And without the instant feedback that stimulants have, taking vitamins and fish oil isn’t easy.

Adderall was banned earlier this year in Canada.

It is a shame that stimulants can be abused, because they help so many people so greatly. Every time I hear a story about college students abusing Ritalin or Adderall, it makes me very angry. It makes it more difficult for the people who really need the medications to have them.

The real people who suffer are those who need it for driving, and for work. A wonder drug like Adderall can help a person pull himself or herself together enough to go out and find a job, and then to hold the job steadily. That tends to be the fate of wonder drugs; they are so helpful that people who don’t need them start abusing them, and then the wonder drugs get banned for everyone.

If I depended on Adderall but lived in Canada, the ban would be enough to make me move to the United States.

Okay, something drastic is happening. For the next several weeks I am going to try taking the following supplements:

• 1 Centrum multivitamin
• 1 tablet of vitamin B-6, daily
• 1 fish oil capsule, three times a day

I am also going to try taking time off from my Ritalin. The reason is that I’ve noticed a decline in my memory. I used to have an amazing, almost photographic memory, but over the past few years I haven’t been able to remember details as well. If my memory improves with this experiment, I might not go back to using Ritalin or other stimulant medications again.

Just as a disclaimer: don’t try this at home, and this is not meant to be medical advice for anyone!

Most of my friends got their driver’s licenses the day they turned sixteen, or soon after. Definitely by seventeen, at least.

I, on the other hand, waited until I was 23. I had wanted to get my license sooner, but I was afraid because my concentration was so bad. It seemed like I would never be able to drive because I just didn’t have the focus and attention span for it.

I finally had to get my driver’s license when I was 23, because I was out of college and looking for a job. I needed to be able to drive myself to job interviews. It was terrifying to drive, but at least my medication helped.