Stories of an ADD Adult

I haven’t had much luck with the ginseng supplements. The liquid tasted awful and was too hard to drink.

The ginseng did have a mild effect but it wasn’t enough to really improve my concentration. If there was any stimulant effect, it was cancelled out by its alcohol content. The alcohol in the ginseng extract made me feel lethargic.

I haven’t been on any medicines or supplements for awhile now. I think my work really shows it. I have gotten into a slump with all my projects. I feel so frustrated. Sometimes I feel depressed and can’t sleep at night, which makes my concentration even worse the following day. Being sleep deprived doubles the ADD symptoms. I feel so helpless right now. I need to fix my situation.

The past couple of days have been awful because I have been packing and preparing to move out of my apartment.

Moving is one of those extremely annoying and difficult things in life, regardless of whether or not you have ADD! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t hate moving.

My main problems are:

• I have too much stuff. Although I am better now at not accumulating decorative objects and useless clutter, I accumulate lots of materials for all my projects. It’s all useful, but there’s so much of it.
• My stuff is highly disorganized. I envy the people who have a specific place in their houses for everything. It’s incredibly difficult to sort everything into categorized boxes and suitcases now. I know from past experiences that I can’t just throw everything into boxes and sort it after I move, because I will never get around to it.
• I have papers for work scattered all around my house, mixed in with mail, receipts, paycheck stubs, and other paperwork for my personal records. I’m terrified of losing something important.
• Keeping track of so many things at once is driving me mad. Normally my ADD is actually helpful when I have to do lots of things at once. But in this case I have to keep track of an abnormally tight schedule in addition to sorting my entire living area and packing it into my car. I feel like I am going crazy!

I shouldn’t even be writing right now because I have so many things to do in so little time. Well, I needed a break. I have been feeling so overwhelmed and depressed, and today I felt like I was going to have a mental breakdown.

This break really helped me put my worries into perspective and calm down. I am sure I will be fine once I get back to packing. I also made a list of things to do, which is making it easier.

After doing some internet research of my own on the long-term effects of Ritalin and other stimulants, I’m a bit nervous about taking Ritalin and even about drinking coffee as often as I tend to do.

The main long-term side effect that I’ve been finding information about is depression. It seems that if you have been taking a stimulant for a long period of time, you are likely to experience depression and/or depressive symptoms.

How long is a “long period of time”? No one seems to have any hard numbers. I can say, though, that I took stimulants daily for a few years, and after deciding to take them only when absolutely necessary, I experienced depression that seemed to be clearly related to the lack of Ritalin.

I don’t know if I was just experiencing temporary withdrawal symptoms, or if the feelings were permanent. They seem more temporary in my case. I am lucky that I didn’t take stimulants as a child, because I could imagine myself having severe depression due to the long-term side effects.

It seems like such strong psychiatric medications inevitably have long-term side effects on the brain. More research on the long-term effects is desperately needed, as the diagnosis of ADHD becomes older and there are people who have been on stimulants for longer and longer periods.